☆☆☆☆

良いことではない！(>×<;;)

2008-05-22T03:15:35Z

はじめまして﹗
Today is a wednesday. The middle of the week.
Thank goodness, too!

Memorial day weekend approaches.
Which means 3 day weekend for everyone~
2 more weeks until finals.
Then school is over!!

The school year went by so fast. It seems like high school will be a bit of a breeze.
Not the easy breeze, but it'll be like a breeze because it'll come and go so quickly.

Today, I foolishly cut my bangs myself. I wanted them to hang in the front of my face
but they didn't turn out like I wanted. ;___________;
I can still sweep them to the side. Which is perfectly fine.
They don't look bad. Just short.
Dx

I haven't done any of my homework. I didn't feel like it.
I still have to write a paragraph for french. D:
Good thing I'm not taking it next year~

So, my lab partner bugs me everyday about her boyfriend.
: |
I really don't care about her "love" life. She thinks she loves him.
It's sickening. All over her notebooks 'B♡R!!' is written.
And today she tells me, "Ryan and I have been together a week."
I was polite and said, "That's very nice."
But really, I just don't care!!
I don't bother her with my personal life.
I suppose some people are comfortable sharing that kind of stuff with people.

I'm not even sure if I can go see Ayabie like I wanted to.
-cry-
This is not good!!
I really want to see them live! I really do.
I love Aoi's voice too much to skip it!
-cry, cry-
But I think my mom doesn't want to spend the money.
It's only 25$ a ticket. She's spent much more on things that don't matter...
And I want to know if I can go so I know if I have to save money to buy a t-shirt.
-cry, cry, cry-
My friend Teru is going. I wanted to meet her there or something.
But if I don't go, I can't!!
-cry, cry, cry, cry-
/rant

enough of this.
I have to finish my laundry!
bai-bai~
o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings o(・∀・)o chicken wings

Any day.

2008-05-19T11:59:05Z

I hate colds. Mine never seem to go away.
It's bothersome at most times.
I've had this particular cold for about 3 weeks now.
D:
This is terrible.

I'm not sure if I'll even be able to go to the Ayabie concert.
;__________;
My mom said she'll "think about it".
Yeah. I'm sure she's extremely deep in thought over it.
: T
So, I'm assuming she won't take me.
She also said that if I wanted to go, she'd have to go to.
D: My mother at a VK concert?!
No no no no no no no.

I'm so upset over that too.
I was going to go and see MUCC last year, but I couldn't.
And finally, a band I've liked for 457857694535 jillion years comes to town
but I can't go see a live.

Curse this age!
Curse this lack of a job!
Curse it all!

At least it's only 2 weeks until finals.
-______-;;
I'll get them over with and get out of school.
Then it's summer vacation
and I'll be so happy!

(〳> ω <)〳☆☆☆〵(> ω <〵)

-----

2008-03-30T19:12:01Z

Lately I haven't been myself. I've been moody and depressed much more than I usually am. I mean-- I usually just blame my occasional mood swings on being a hormonal teenaged girl. But this past week, I've just been horrible. I've felt myself becoming more distant from people I've been close to, and it's scary. To be honest, I'm not even completely sure who I love anymore and who I'm just using to fill a void.

Yesterday, I fell asleep in my mom's office and somehow, my unconsciousness told me I should open my eyes, and so I did. My brother was standing over me with a camera phone taking a picture of my curled up in a chair. Naturally, I got mad and I swung out and knocked the phone out of his hand onto the carpet. My mom yelled at me telling me that I shouldn't have done that because it was her phone. I was equally mad because not only did he wake me up from my nap, but he took a picture of me too. She asked my brother if he took a picture, and he said no. I cut in shouting about how I heard the phone take a picture. So, she looked through and found the picture, and only said to my brother, "Why did you lie?" and he shrugged, and was let off the hook.

So, when I got home, I fell asleep for five hours only to wake up to my sister yelling at me. "Get up now! You've been asleep too long! People are coming over!" I told her to leave me alone because I didn't feel well. "MOTHERRRRRR! SHE ISN'T WAKING UP!" She just wouldn't shut up. I told her that I was awake, but if she kept yelling I'd ignore her and go back to sleep. Obviously, this prompted her to keep yelling at me. Finally I got up and chased her out and closed my door. Then she starts pounding on my door saying I locked her out and went back to bed. So I threw the door open and told her I didn't lock it at all. I stormed out and went into the bathroom to get ready and yes, I did cry a little. My mom was already mad at me when I came downstairs and yelled at me that I've been treating people like "shit" and that if I don't start nobody will want to be around me. Which I found to be pretty hypocritical, she certainly seemed to be treating me like shit right then. She told me she thought the dog had an accident somewhere upstairs and told me to go find it. Of course, I found it in my closet and cleaned it up. I picked up the big parts in a bag and brought them downstairs to throw away. My mom was vacuuming the stairs and I waited until she moved to the side a bit to walk down and on my way, I tripped over the chord and fell down the rest of the stairs. Luckily, I managed to keep the bag from spilling or getting crushed. I got really frustrated and threw it away. I was walking up the stairs when my mom grabbed my arm and said, "I don't like your attitude. You'd better knock it or you're going to be in some serious trouble." I started crying and said that I didn't think I was doing anything, I just tripped on a chord and fell down the stairs. she continued to say, "Whatever. That's no excuse to act like a brat. You don't have any reason to be depressed about anything so just quit acting like a brat."

I have no reason to be depressed. I have no reason to cry myself to sleep. I have no reason to avoid people. I am apparently not entitled to those things. Don't get me wrong, I am aware that I am extremely lucky to be an upper middle-class american in a nice house with a family. I'm also aware that most people might consider me spoiled. I feel like she took it to far, telling my that I don't deserve to be depressed. I find it funny that she was the one to tell me that, because she should know better than anyone that depression and anxiety disorders RUN IN HER FAMILY. I'm not sure if I have it, but maybe she'd keep that in mind before she yells at me that I am not deserving of these feelings.

So, I'm considering cutting myself off from everyone. I'm not going to talk to anyone unless I have to. Because I'm only becoming a burden at this point. I am only being a "brat" at this point. And nobody needs to deal with it. So, I'll bottle these feelings and hold on tight.
I'm really done with it.

くそっ！

2008-03-27T18:13:42Z

So, I broke my grudge. I'm still mad though.

Lately I've been falling in love with Yu-uki.
haha! He's so cuteeee

This is supposedly a picture of Yuuki.
Cover the top half of his face too. It looks a bit like Yuuki now, right?
I felt a little hesitant and I'm trying not to get myself excited.
I mean, that guy is super cute!!

So, I've been searching for picture sot compare, And I found this picture.

Look at this picture. Note the shirt and the necklace. Look back at the previous one.
SAME SHIRT! SAME NECKLACE!
The smiles are a little different.

But if you look through picture of Yu-uki, you'll see that some of them have that smile.

Plus, they have the same nose.
haha

Ahh~ So, I'm 99.9999% sure that the picture is Yuukikki!

I'm so happy. Maybe if this picture is circulated a bit more, Yu-uki will be popular instead of hated!!

I hope so!

怒ったから隔離。

2008-03-26T04:53:47Z

As much as I believe in not holding grudges, I am holding one now. My friend went far enough to do this to himself. I'd go into details, but it'd just make me angrier. My retaliation to this is to ignore him. From now until he decides to stop being a dick-head, I'm not talking to him. It seems so juvenile. (-ω-｀) It is, isn't it? I'm so angry right now though. He just pushed it too far this time.
I'm generally not so hypocritical....

anyway~
Today I went out and got a book on almost 2,000 essential kanji. (@______@; ) I don't know how I plan to study it, but I'll figure something out. I need to get back into the swing of things.

Speaking of languages, I have a project for French I'm supposed to be working on during break. haha. I should probably do it. It shouldn't take me very long, seeing as that she doesn't expect French IV work. (I'm in French I)

Ahh, Looking back on my kanji entry reminded me that I went to the mall today~
I got a bunch of cute clothes. nyan nyan nyan!! I finally found a nice cardigan and a nice sweatshirt. I also got 3 rings, but 2 of them don't fit me... ;______; Well, they do, it just hurts that they get sort of stuck. I think I wear a 7 or 8 ring size.
(-___________-) Does that mean I have fat fingers? My fingers aren't fat really. haha.

I've been thinking a lot about meeting other Caffeko. I really wish to meet some from around the midwest because I feel so lonely. I know there are a lot of caffeko in the world, but there aren't many here. At least not in my school. I think I'm the only one that is a big fan in my school! (TT ^ TT) how could it be??!

I need to go take my medicine before I forget...
nyaaaaan.
That made me sound loony.

ahh.
--Q

春休み...2日目/ イースター

2008-03-22T20:50:39Z

Hello again!

Today I spent the most time training. hehehe!

So far at least.

And I think the boy I like, likes me back! (≻ ///// ≺) neー!
Because, as we trained, when he tried to show me something, he did the type of thing
no one else does because of embarrassment.
haha!
it was like in a comic.
He grabbed my waist and pulled me in really tightly.
(❤ ___________ ❤;;) it was sort of dreamy. you know?

He also ruffled my hair a lot.
Like a bigger kid does to little kids.
If I got something wrong, he'd first hit me on the head and yell.
Then I'd pout at him and he'd say, "Ahh. Q, I'm sorry." then ruffle my hair.
heehee.

Is it weird that I do not mind when he gets sort of mad at me?
He doesn't do it all the time, and if he hits, it doesn't cause me pain.
I know he is just joking most the time.

I have the sort of "infatuation" with him.
Like love. I guess.
❀~ ahh.

Anyway, I got a super cute outfit for easter.

I can't wait!

アップデート！アップデート！

2008-03-22T00:44:48Z

やあ！やあ！このチェックアウト！

I've been thinking of making my hair the different color because I have become bored with dark brown.
I was thinking of making my hair turn WHITE!!
(⦥ O ⦤ )⧾⧾ Yep.

I really really want it now that I have looked at pictures

Isn't that pretty??

♡♡♡

I'd do that color with...

Hair style like 有村竜太朗-サン!!

(≳ ∇ ≲)⸕yey

春休み...1日目

2008-03-21T17:07:41Z

(⋟ 0 ⋞)--o
yaaawn
皆さん、おはようございます! !

Did you sleep well last night? Did you keep warm?

Last night, we got snow here. Not enough to cover all the grass though... (⋋ ____ ⋌**)
grr. The ground looks weird when you see the tops of the grass poking out.

Sunday is easter.
()___()
(≧ ∀ ≦)
( u u)o
yey!

It means that my family will give me chocolate and such.
haha! I can not complain about it.
It also means I'll have to dress up.
;______;
I am the jeans and tee-shirt type of person.
not fancy clothes. (TT ⋀ TT)
It's asking too much.

Hmm. So, at the moment I am being bored bored bored....
No one is talking to me, so I have nothing to do.
And I was supposed to visit the mall because I need a new cardigan...
And my mom won't let me order one on a site.
-(-ω-。) ahh
So, unless she takes me later, I won't have one for a while.
My dad said though, if I can not find one at the mall, he will pay for the shipping on my internet cardigan.
How nice....

well, I think I should go find something to do.
(× ∆ ×) stay warm~